Snoopy

I put my Christmas tree up this week and for the first time in a long time I was really enjoying getting in to the Christmas festivities. I brought all the boxes in the house, pulled the tree out and set it up, fluffed and straightened all the branches, put all the lights on, and sat back and admired my work. The only thing left for me to do was put the ornaments on the tree. You have to understand that before I was born my mother started a tradition for us kids. She bought each one of us a Hallmark ornament every year from the time we were born until each of us was married with a home of our own. It was hard for her to let those ornaments go and my collection is one of my most prized possesions. I have them all packed away in this neat ornament box where each ornament has it's own compartment and they are in order by year. So I pulled my ornament boxes out and started putting my cherished ornaments on the tree. Each one reminded me of some time in my life and it was nice being able to remember when I loved Rainbow Bright, or the year when E.T. was all the rage, and who can forget the Shirt Tale Gang? As I put each ornament on the tree it was one good memory after another until I reached the last compartment in the last box. This ornament was still in it's orginal box and the minute I saw it my heart sank and it hit me that this particular ornament has never hung on my tree. I never put my tree up last year and I remembered that I bought this ornament the year before. It was Snoopy and it was supposed to be the first of many ornaments that I was going to buy for the little boy that was supposed to be my son. How can you love someone and miss someone that you've never met? I loved him from the time he was seven weeks old in the womb. I love him still, even though I've never seen him or held him. My heart hurts alot and I try to put a smile on my face and convince myself that it's okay and I've done a really good job at doing that until I saw that Snoopy. And you know what, I didn't get to bring him home and he'll never ever call me Mommy but I still love him and that ornament is his and this year and every year from now on it'll hang on my tree and I'll remember him and love him and continue to pray to God that he's being taken care of and being loved and appreciated. Because he deserved so much more than she'll ever be able to give him.

Currently listening:LifehouseBy LifehouseRelease date: 22 March, 2005
9:28 PM