I'm gonna set my lawn on fire

Yes, you heard me right. I'm going to do a controlled burn in my front yard and all three of my backyards. I don't know how many of you have been on 287 between Dumas and Amarillo, but personally, I'm there twice a day Monday through Friday. Now, back to the point. Have any of you noticed the dozen or so burned patches on that stretch of road? Well, while everything else is dry, brittle, yellow, hay like dead grass the places that have been burned have brand new green green baby grass growing in it's place. I mean, we haven't even had any moisture to promote the growth of new grass so it's got to be the fact that it was burned, don't ya think? Well then, it seems only logical to start a fire on my lawn. I don't know, now that I think about it it might cost more money to replace my sprinkler system than it would be for me to just pay some one to come lay sod. Who knows. I guess I'll just revert to watering and hope my grass gets as green as the burned out patches are. And, I would like to state for the record that I am jealous that's it's not me going on a cruise and visiting Mickey Mouse's house AND getting offered a job that woud more than double my salary. I'll slink back to my hole and cry.
4:27 PM

Man Caves, Bob Cats & Hip Hop

So, just had a bunch of stuff rumbling around in my head and thought I would post a random blog. First of all, I think I'm getting sick and that's no fun. I have been in a crappy mood all week and looking back I think it was a prelude to this crap that has landed in my chest. You know when you go swimming and accidentally inhale a mouth full of water and it makes your nose and throat burn and sting? Yeah, that's how I have felt for the last couple of days. It started when I went out in the shop with Jason. We have a 20 x 20 shop in the backyard and Jason and Corey have turned it into a "Man Cave" (HUH, picture flexing your muscles like Tim Allen on Tool Time). Anyways, they have worked tirelessly on building a homemade wood burning stove to keep the place nice and toasty while they play pool on Jason's brand new REAL and really expensive pool table while listening to "Man Cave" remix cd's made by my metro sexual brother-in-law, Corey. No, really, I totally love the 80's rock he has compiled. So, Jason is wanting to chill in his "Man Cave" but doesn't want to go alone so he drags me in my pajamas, along with Daisy and Axel out to the shop to watch his mad skills on the pool table. He lights a fire. He turns on the music. Romantic, you think? Naw, I fell asleep on the couch, as did Daisy and Axel. So, while I'm sleeping I'm inhaling melting paint off the newly built wood burning stove (which is actually a 55 gallon drum) as well as soaking up the smell of lighter fluid. The minute I come to in this nice toasty "Man Cave" I realize my throat feels like it is raw and on fire. Sooooo, my asthmatic lungs didn't really like the "Man Cave" too much and now I'm sick.

Now, let's talk about my niece, Karegan, for just a little bit. I bring her to Dumas with me on Tuesday's and Thursday's so she can go to school. This kid is super smart. She can tell you her full name, address, can say her entire alphabet, knows her numbers, can sing about 20 songs, has memorized 5 or so bible scriptures, and can perform a dozen or so commands when asked. She's two years old, people! This kid is a genius! Anyways, she cracks me the heck up almost every time I am around her. Usually she is pretty quiet on the ride over in the morning, cause let's face it, neither of us are morning people. In the afternoon, though, she is pretty talkative and just recently pretty opinionated as well. Since she was pretty little I would play that song Yeah by Usher and I taught her how to pump her hands in the air and do the chicken neck to the beat. It's hilarious and as soon as the song is over she says "Go again". We usually listen to that song all the way back to Amarillo. Well, a couple of weeks ago we were right in the middle of the Yeah marathon and I'm watching her in the rear view mirror because it's just too much fun not too. She's pumping her hands and doing the chicken neck and then she starts getting creative and throwing out some Michael Jackson break dance hand moves. Then she grabs her left hand and brings it right up to her face and acts like she is singing right to her hand but no sound is coming out. I almost ran off the road it was so funny. So I've made it a point to keep my rear view mirror pointed directly at her so I don't miss anything. Just a few days later as we are on the way home she was kind of crabby and not really feeling the Yeah marathon and so I had the radio on XM Love Songs. I'm watching her off and on in mirror and all of a sudden I see her slap herself in the face and then reach up and pull her hair. Instantly right after this display of abuse by her own hand she points her finger at the offending hand and says "No no, don't pull my hair!" (in the same accent John Travolta used in Saturday Night Fever when proclaiming "Don't touch the hair") Words can't describe the giggle fit that happened once I saw that. I asked her who had pulled her hair and she said it was her hand. Jeez. So the next time we were in the car together the offending hand struck again but this time after being scolded it apologized to Karegan so all was cool. Now, this brings us to this morning. She was quite talkative for early morning and very peeved that the sun was in her face. She kept saying, Lowee, the sun and pointing and squinting her eyes. I told her we would turn soon and just close her eyes and before long it would be gone. She closed her eyes for about 30 seconds and then realized that was kind of like nap time and said she would no longer keep her eyes closed all the while still complaining about the sun. Then she kind of drifts off and we are just listening to the radio which is just random songs I have on my iPod and she says, "Lowee, here". I turn around and see the hugest bobcat on the end of her finger. For those of you wondering what a bobcat is, well, it's a booger. Come on people, get there. I don't like poop, boogers, throw up or snot. I don't have kids and I can't just pluck bobcats out of her hand and do away with it. So I throw her a tissue and tell her to put it in the tissue. She does and just stares at it. I told her to fold the tissue and hand it to me. She didn't understand the fold part and was just trying to hand me the open tissue with the bobcat just hanging on it. Ugh, I almost puked. I told her in my shrill panicked voice to wad the tissue up and throw it on the ground. Yeah, she didn't get the wad part either but she did threw the tissue on the floor. Last week she lost a whole piece of gum back there, so keep that in mind next time you ask me for a ride. Yup, bobcats and gum roaming freely in my backseat. So, once we both recover from the bobcat issue a song comes on the radio and we listen to it and as soon as it's over Karegan says "Again!". So I go back to the previous song and we listen again...and again....and again....and then one more time. It wasn't the usual Yeah, it was Crank That by Soulja Boy. Lordy, lordy, this chick likes hip hop. At least she didn't try to get out of going to school today. Last week she told me she was sick and needed to go to the doctor and not to school. Tuesday she flat out told me she wasn't going to school. Poor kid has a long road ahead of her if she's trying to ditch school at 2! Oh yeah, Meagan Daniells, my new friend wanted a shout out in my next blog, so there ya go. Reminds me of a fella I used to work with who got his picture in the Tulia paper with the caption reading "Roger Morgan, never did nothing just wanted his picture in the paper."
5:06 PM

Still

Sometimes out of nowhere it sneaks back up and tears at my heart and the pain is just as fresh as a newly opened wound and it's hard to breathe for a while and then it subsides and I know soon it'll be okay again. Just let me have peace tonight, though the pain in my heart is unbearable right now and I can't stop these tears. Maybe one day I'll have a miracle and tomorrow will bring peace again.
1:16 AM

Dog Drama and Possible Mass Suicide

Most of you know that my animals are my life and I love them each like they are my children. A while back I posted a blog about how Axel had put on a bunch of weight and had really slowed down even though he's not that old. After some tests he was diagnosed as having Hyperthyroidism and has been on medication twice a day since then. Poor guy will have to be on it the rest of his life. I guess I should say poor me as well! At first I was able to just pop the pills in the back of his throat and he would swallow it and we would go on with the day. Then I started finding bits and pieces and even whole pills on the floor and in couch cushions. So, I bought these stupidly expensive "Pill Pockets" that you put the pill in and squeeze together and they think they are just eating a treat. Well, that has worked for a while now and I thought all was well until we moved to Amarillo. Axel started putting weight back on and acting more lethargic and the hair down his back would stand on end most of the time. It was so odd so I took him back to the vet to make sure his thyroid medicine was still working like it was supposed to. Blood work came back great and all his levels were normal. Dr. Pearson did say he may be suffering from back pain or it could be stress and trauma from the move, although I don't really see why. So, things haven't gotten any better in the last month and actually they have gotten a bit worse. Back to the vet we go and this time we see Dr. Pearson's wife. She was quite concerned with Axel's posture and said he showed all the signs of a dog in chronic pain. Ugh, my poor baby. We had some X-Ray's done and sure enough he has some defects to a vertebrae on his spine. They are thinking that the defect is putting a lot of pressure on the nerves and causing quite a bit of pain. Also, while trying to reposition himself to be more comfortable he has put quite a bit of strain on his haunches which isn't good. So now Axel is on Prednisone for the inflammation, a pretty strong pain reliever, and a glucosomine supplement to help strengthen his bones. That equates to 4 pills in the morning and 4 pills at night. This is where the challenges have arisen. It was hard trying to make sure he kept one pill down, but now it's an impossible battle. We tried just putting all the pills in Pill Pockets and he got the first one down and then continuously spit the rest out every time! So I get this bright idea to get wet food in the packets and put the pills in the bowl with the food. Yeah right! He ate all the food and pushed the pills out of the way. Soooo, I put all the pills in pill pockets and mixed them with the wet food and guess what?? He eats everything but the pill pockets. I have resorted each time to cramming all of them one by one down his throat until he is gagging and slobbering everywhere and I'm covered in slobber. The vet today recommended putting the pills in vienna sausages, so I'm gonna try that tonight. Now, to complicate the pill matter a little more, I had Maxwell neutered today in Dumas and he has to take an antibiotic twice daily for 6 days. I wanted to get Chester scheduled for his neuter sometime in the next couple of weeks but they had a cancellation for in the morning and then he too will be on 6 days worth of antibiotics! On a side note, it is with a very sad heart that I must relay the news of the passing of not 1, 2, 3, 4 but 5 of my fishies who have left this world for the big ocean in the sky. Yup, and Nemo was one of them. I'm not sure what the sudden mass fatalities are from but Jason is lower than a snake's belly. He has been babying that aquarium since day one and he gets the water checked at least once and sometimes twice a week and all our levels have been perfect. The only good news we have had in the last 24 hours has been the fact that our shrimp is alive and kicking and getting huge! We put him in the tank to help control the aptasia and he promptly disappeared, never to be heard from until last night. Seriously, he has been missing in action for a little over a month. Anyways, for you animal lovers, please keep my pooches, fishies, corals and mushrooms in your thoughts as we mourn, heal and try to move on in this cold, cold world.