Don't be mad.... Current mood: curious

....I'm not talking about you.
I checked my MySpace today and was quite surprised to see that so many people are reading my blogs. I guess I have been under the assumption that Mom and Lisa and a few other friends were the only ones reading because no one ever comments. But, I just discovered the blog view which shows how many people have read your blog today, this week and total. Less than 24 hours of posting a new blog the number is astronomical and that really surprised me and prompted me to worry a little about some of the things I've said because I usually only blog when I'm really emotional or really upset. I am really bad about making assumptions about certain things like statements people make, blogs they post, comments made to other people and such. I have a tendency to think "are they talking about me?". I don't want any of my friends or family to have to wonder "is this blog or post about me?" (and if you are ever concerned about that, just ask me!). I have seen a lot of really nice people accuse, belittle and berate other people in their blogs and posts. It's easy to be an "online bully". I don't want to be an "online bully" and I guess I felt the need to explain a couple of things. First of all, it is very, very hard for me to express my emotions and feelings. I can be feeling a million things inside and not know how or when to express those feelings and sometimes that comes across as me being an unemotional person. Sometimes I just need to get it out so it doesn't build up inside and I have done that through posting blogs and calling my sister or mom bawling. I've never mentioned anyone by name and I can guarantee that if you think I'm talking about you in a certain situation you are probably wrong 95% of the time. I can't hold a grudge to save my life. You can make me fighting mad one day and by night fall I'll be your best friend. So please know that anything I write is usually done when I am feeling very emotional inside and not sure how else to express those feelings. My intention isn't to point fingers, place blame, make anyone feel bad or offend anyone and I'm sorry to anyone who may feel that I have. I have been blessed with a great family and a handful of good friends. I love you all and appreciate the ones who accept me with all my faults and flaws. For those of you who still judge me and every word I say, well, I guess you know how to close the page.

Currently listening:The Living YearsBy Mike + the MechanicsRelease date: 25 October, 1990
10:50 AM