Better

So, what a depressing blog I posted last night/early this morning. I did get up this morning, took my shower, got dressed and drove to church which is where I really needed to be. There was a guest speaker, Mark Bishop, and he is a phenomenal preacher. I've missed that kind of preaching since my Papa and Bro. Clark are gone. Anyways, sitting there I felt really comfortable and almost like I used to when I loved going to church. I'm not very good at change and I miss the little things, like the old church building. That's where I grew up, fell in love a dozen times, made some really great memories. I got married in that building, so I guess I'll always miss it. It's funny what things come to mind for absolutely no reason. I remember wasps flying around in our classroom every Sunday morning, hiding in the bus closet with Roger Hickey and half the teen department during an afterglow. Remember "Afterglows" and "Fifth Quarter Afterglows"? I remember riding to church camp on the "cool van" and actually being one of the "cool" people, riding in the back seat and being jealous of any girl that talked to one of "our" guys. I remember holding hands with one of the boys during Missionary slides when the lights were out, and the ski trip to Red River when Ronnie and Jan were here. I remember slumber parties at Gerald and Gails house, and toilet papering the Marions house and having shaving cream fights with the boys. I remember Robin Krebbs and Alyssa Roberts being so young and now they are both married! I remember getting love letters from Clint that Gerald helped him write, Lisa kissing Toby on Truth or Dare and being so devastated! I remember playing games like "Honey if you love me you'll smile" and getting KP because we camped out in the bathroom so we could be the first ones in the shower! I remember the year Michael Roberts asked me to the Friday Night banquet an hour after we left Dumas just so he could ask me before his cousin Cory could ask me and then Cory begged and begged and begged for me just to pay attention to him. Then coming home from college and going to an adult party out at Paston Clark's house, going on a hay ride with Cory and wondering why I waited so long to give into his persistance. What can I say about Cory? After 3 years of being married he shows up out of nowhere to ask me "What if and is there still a chance"? I won't ever forget any of that and most of all I'll remember feeling important and loved with my group around me. I never felt like I was missing out on anything because I wasn't going out to school dances. Maybe I just miss the past. I can close my eyes and remember Heath and Clint, Toby, Eugene, Tamara and Dawn, Miriam and Joseph, me and Lisa, Chris, Cory and Michael, Erin and Kyle Kruger, Keke and Sugar.....it's funny, really. I looked at the teen section this morning and thought to myself, it'll never compare to what I had. Is that wrong? I wondered for a moment if they know how much they are going to miss that in 15 years, when the worst thing in life was that one guy not paying enough attention to you or watching him hold someone else's hand on the hayride. But we can never go back to being just a kid. I have a lot to be thankful for. I had a pretty great childhood, parents who loved me and each other, a church that was my life for so long and some really great friends. How did we lose each other along the way? If I close my eyes I can have it all back if even for just a second. So it's been a good day. Sometimes I enjoy spending the day with just myself and remembering the things that used to make me happy. I think I'll go over to Mom's and try to find the recording of "The Bible Tells Me So Show". We were so awesome, no matter what anyone says. You know how they have high school reunions? We should totally have a Teen Department Reunion!!
12:30 PM